Katie’s inspirational mate, Dave…
Here is a piece written by Katie Mottram, MensCraft’s Prevention and Positive Activities Coordinator, HMP Norwich. It describes the remarkable recovery journey of her inspirational friend, Dave…
My mate Dave did time in Strangeways. He’s one of the most sensitive, open- hearted men I know.
Struggling with a childhood of abuse and neglect, David found distraction from his pain through thrill seeking behaviour, which led to life in gangs, drugs and crime. Following multiple suicide attempts and arrests, David continued along the same path until he was 35, choosing to live on the streets because that felt easier than going home and facing his family.
In the year 2000, David was placed on remand in Strangeways prison. He was overcome by waves of despair; he tore up his bedsheets, tied them around the bars of his cell and his neck, and started to drift off into the comforting nothingness of black out. Suddenly he found himself in a heap on the floor. The sheet had snapped. He was thrown into confusion and then the deepest feelings of despair and hopelessness that he’d ever experienced. He felt like such a failure and cried and cried for what seemed like forever. This surrender to his emotions led to an overwhelming feeling of calmness and peace; he was overcome by a strange and inexplicable sense that everything was going to be ok.
He brushed himself off and sat down at the steel table to roll a cigarette. He noticed the local paper, The Manchester evening news, in front of him on the table and started reading through it. There he came across a story by a woman who had opened a local day centre for recovering addicts and alcoholics. The woman was also in recovery from addiction. David wrote her a letter asking for help.
4 weeks later he was escorted to Crown Court for sentencing. For the first time ever, David was placed before a Judge who seemed to really pay attention to David’s history of trauma rather than just focusing on the problem. David attended rehab the next day for the first time in his long life of addiction and crime. Rather than being put into psychiatric treatment, David was given access to mentors, communities, and people who could guide him due to their own experience. David now feels that finding other men who were willing to be vulnerable and openly share their emotions was invaluable.
He is now a mentor for an organisation called ‘Band of Brothers’ who successfully do this around the country. After completing nine months in treatment, David was offered the opportunity to volunteer with the service which helped him. Twelve months later, he was offered a full-time paid role as a support worker. Six months later he was offered the role of deputy manager. Twelve months after that he became the manager. Three years later David was promoted to head of service, responsible for managing 72 rehab beds across the county. David has since managed several projects and services. He is currently a CQC registered manager for one of the biggest health and social care providers in the country and a personal coach.
My mate Dave is an inspiration. Whatever you’re going through, there is always hope.
By Katie Mottram, MensCraft
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