What can services do differently to engage fathers?
What if, instead of asking why some fathers are hard to engage, we asked what services could do differently to make it easier for them to take part?
That was one of the central messages from MensCraft’s Fatherhood Conference on 7 October 2026.
Bringing together practitioners from social work, health, education and beyond, the conference explored what it means to put inclusive fatherhood practice into action: how services can better engage fathers, build trust and support them to play a positive role in their children’s lives.
Listening to fathers: understanding their experiences
We began by hearing directly from fathers themselves, with the first screening of a short film capturing their experiences of working with MensCraft.
They spoke candidly about their initial reluctance and uncertainty before that first visit, as well as the longer-term difference that support has made to their wellbeing and relationships with their children.
Their experiences highlighted an important starting point for father-inclusive services: understanding the barriers fathers face, listening to their perspectives and creating opportunities for them to feel welcome, heard and supported.
Engaging fathers is not simply about encouraging them to attend. It is about creating the conditions in which they feel able to participate.
Building trust and helping fathers navigate services
Julian Hylton, MensCraft’s Fatherhood Programme Project Worker, drew on his own experience of being a father navigating unfamiliar systems. He described how isolating and challenging this can feel, particularly when fathers feel that the system is stacked against them or that they are facing difficulties alone.
Julian emphasised the importance of creating spaces where men feel heard and building trust before expecting engagement. This means being alongside fathers, helping them understand and navigate services, challenging systems where necessary, and supporting them to focus on what they can do in the best interests of their children.
This is an important principle of inclusive fatherhood practice: working with fathers, rather than simply expecting them to work with services on services’ terms.
When practitioners take the time to understand a father’s circumstances and build a relationship with him, they can help him identify practical ways forward, even when his situation feels difficult or overwhelming.
Understanding shame and the barriers to fathers' engagement
Cody Sollows, MensCraft’s Youth Programme Manager, explored harmful online narratives around fatherhood and the role of shame in understanding some fathers’ experiences and behaviours.
Shame can go beyond feeling that we have done something wrong to feeling that we are wrong. This can be overwhelming, particularly for fathers who feel judged, excluded or powerless in their relationships with their children.
When shame becomes difficult to manage, it can contribute to responses such as denial, minimisation, anger or avoidance. These behaviours can make engagement with services more challenging, but understanding the feelings that may sit behind them can help practitioners respond more constructively.
Creating the right environment can help fathers make sense of their experiences without becoming defined by them. With appropriate support, men can begin to move beyond a cycle of shame and focus on what they can do to improve their circumstances and positively influence their children’s lives.
This does not mean overlooking harmful behaviour or avoiding accountability. It means creating the conditions in which fathers can take responsibility, recognise their choices and work towards change.
What young fathers want professionals to understand
Finally, Professor Anna Tarrant from the University of Lincoln shared insights from her research with young fathers, highlighting what they want professionals to understand about their experiences.
The message was simple but powerful: young fathers want to be involved in their children’s lives. They also want professionals to recognise them, include them and support them to do so.
This has important implications for services working with children and families. Father-inclusive practice means considering fathers’ needs and perspectives from the outset, rather than treating their involvement as an afterthought.
It means asking how fathers can be included in conversations and decisions about their children, recognising their contribution to family life, and identifying the support they need to fulfil their role.
For practitioners, this can involve reflecting on everyday practice: how fathers are approached, whether communication reaches them, how assumptions about their involvement shape decisions, and whether services offer a welcoming and meaningful opportunity to participate.
Father-inclusive practice starts with a different question
Across the conference, a consistent message emerged. Engaging fathers is not simply a question of getting individual men to change. It requires services to reflect on their own approaches, assumptions and practices.
Perhaps the question for services, then, is not:
“Why is this father hard to engage?”
But:
“What could we do differently to make it easier for this father to engage?”
That shift does not remove the challenges practitioners face, or the responsibility fathers have for their actions. Instead, it opens up the possibility of a more constructive relationship: one in which fathers are recognised as people with strengths, needs and responsibilities, and where meaningful involvement in their children’s lives is actively supported.
Inclusive fatherhood practice is not about lowering expectations of fathers. It is about making sure services give them a fair opportunity to meet those expectations.
By listening to fathers, building trust and making inclusion part of everyday practice, we can help create services that work better for fathers, children and families.